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Blog For Happiness

orange circle graphic with a white arrow pointing rightWe just added a tab today about our video conference option.  I hope you read it and realize it is safe, easy, and convenient as can be.  There are some therapeutic issues that are better served in the office, face to face. We understand.  And some people just don't want to try video conferencing.  We completely understand and will always be in the office.

If you try video conferencing for an appointment or 2, you might find what everybody else is saying.  It is easier and more convenient. 

Contact us anytime with any questions or concerns.

 

How are things in your marriage?  Are things ok?

Marriage and Divorce LaneTruthfully, everyone including highly trained professional marriage counselors should never stop the fine-tuning of their relationship.

Click below to get our cheat sheet, even if your marriage is not in trouble.

And it helps even if you are not married, but in a committed romantic relationship of any kind.

This Cheat Sheet will help you identify the problems in your marriage and how to fix them, simple as that.

The full course is eighteen modules including a webinar, testimonials, countless activities to try, in-depth research, tips, strategies, etc.

We promise you, it’s worth it, so download the free cheat sheet now and see what it’s all about! 

No need to buy anything.  

The Cheat Sheet is free.     Click here

If you had one more thing you could try to save your marriage, would you do it? 

 

 

From Casemanager, Kyndal:

Are you experiencing anxiety this holiday season? 

Do you get anxious when thinking about all of the activities and gifts to plan, and thinking about all of the socializing involved? Does it bring up bad memories from unpleasant experiences around the holiday time? 

 

It may be too cold outside to go for a walk to clear your thoughts, but there are other ways to manage these feelings and more.  

First of all, make sure you are consuming plenty of water, fruits, and vegetables. A healthy body creates a healthier mind. Try to drink three liters of water spread out through the day and eat six smaller meals filled with protein. 

Second, consider taking a daily nutritional supplement of L-Theanine. Most pharmacies and grocery stores will carry it, it is an all-natural vitamin that helps relieve anxiety without side effects. 

Third, get some rest! Sleeping is absolutely essential and getting eight or more hours should be top priority.  

Finally, make sure to do your five-minute flood! Pull out a journal and brainstorm for five minutes or less. Write out what is stressing you and get it out of your head and onto a piece of paper where you can see it and it becomes manageable. Do this instead of ignoring I, thus letting it eat away at you. Do this as many times daily as needed, as this is the ultimate stress reliever. 

Have a great holiday season and let us know if you need anything. We hope these tips help allow you to be able to take some time to enjoy your family and experience happiness.  

 

Kids - Why Have Them!

 

Do you ever wonder why you wanted kids?  As infants, they don’t sleep and don’t stop crying.  Then, they go to school and cost huge amounts of dollars.  When they hit the teenage years, you sometimes conclude you should never have had them.  Then, they leave.  And, after a few minutes, you miss them.  

 

There is actually no way any parent ever wonders “why did I have kids”.  Kids bring more joy and love than anything.  Kids make life wonderful for us parents.  We all know that, but do you ever wonder how you’re going to deal with your child’s next problem behavior?

 

Our clients, (and most living human beings) have difficulty at some point in their lives with parenting.  Parents are after all human beings.  Kids are also human beings and they, too are imperfect.  Sometimes they are very imperfect.  When you have imperfect parents combined with imperfect kids, things can get messy.

 

Well, I put together a list of some of the problems teenagers can have.  I worked with plenty of families (including my very own) through the years that have problems like the ones below.  Would you look through this list and see if there is anything I left out?

 

bad influence of friends, entitled, refuses to do chores, argues, complains, questions why, defiant, isolates, unmotivated, substance abuse, alcohol abuse, eating disorders, poor self esteem, refuses to follow the rules, lazy, poor grades, disrespectful, rolls eyes or sucks teeth, needs reminders, yells, anger, fights with sibs, materialistic, addicted to tv, video games, face book, self harm, steals, lies, aggressive physically, sleeping problems, chatters incessantly, poor hygiene, grandiose sense of self, mood changes, no friends, refuses to take accountability, bullies, is bullied, manipulative, identifies with the dark side of life, bad attitude, mocks, silent treatment, never home, always in room, curfew violation, walks away, condescending, criminal behavior, school behavior, whining, ignoring, cigarettes, chew, anxiety, test anxiety, uncooperative, defiant, stubborn, secretive, temper, intentionally destroys property, brags, sulks/pouts, bad language, too sexual, irresponsible, does not respond to consequences, talks back.

 

Did I leave anything out?

 

While these problems are not abnormal for teens, they need to be addressed if they become pervasive. That’s where we come in.  Let us help when you cannot get your teenagers’ problem fixed.  We are the experts with teens.  Which really says a lot - even teens aren’t experts at being teenagers.  

 

Fixing teenagers’ behavior problems begins with trying to figure out why a child is having problems. Why is this person like this?  That’s the question.  Sometimes just a quick assessment with a professional can help.  Figure out why your teen is like this and then you can begin to remediate the problem.

 

Perfect Parenting is our powerful program for all parents.  We are the experts. Call or text us if we can be of help.  Get the why, then fix it. 

 


We Have A New (clearing my throat) D_ _                  

It’s not because I want one, it’s because Janelle wants one.  For years I have said no dog.  The kids have begged and Janelle and I stood our ground.

 

Then, Janelle wanted one.  “I need one for comfort and just because it will help me deal with this disease more effectively.” If my Pretty Little Wife wants something, let it be done.
If she wanted a dog, I just wanted to make sure that it would cost me no money, require none of my time, and not cause allergies. I'm too old to have a new pet. 

 

 

 

 

One of her co-teachers called with the perfect dog. Now Gretta is Janelle’s.

 

What’s the lesson?  Be willing to change? Marriage is all about compromise? Dog’s are women’s best friend?

 

I don’t know.  Probably all those.  Maybe something  else.  I don’t know.  I just wanted to write about this. 

 

“Getting it out is healing,” I preach, but I’m not sure what’s going on.

 

Maybe it just needed to be said.  So, there, it’s out. We have a dog.  And Janelle is happy.  If She’s happy, all is well in my world.

 

 

 

 

 

 


What Attracted You?  

 

A study released a few weeks ago shows that people are attracted to extrinsic qualities initially, but long-lasting relationships are founded on intrinsic characteristics.  Hasn’t this been true for you, too?

 

We all want someone who is physically attractive, has lots of money, and is well connected with power.  While these factors are important, current research indicates that staying power is based on intrinsic factors like kindness, generosity, loyalty, reliability, etc.

 

It’s the inner qualities that really do matter for relationship sustainability.  Isn’t that what actually attracts you to the people in your life?  It’s the intrinsic. 

 

Make sense?  It’s what’s inside that counts.  You can’t judge a book by its cover.  And now we find that committed relationships are longer lasting if there is a focus on both intrinsic and extrinsic qualities.  But, the greatest of these is the intrinsic.

 

That brings me to our book, “Positive Reflections on Personal Improvement”.  Don’t just focus on your weight, working out, making more money, and doing things that impress people.  Focus on what’s inside you, too.

 

(Info about the workbook, “Positive Reflections on Personal Improvement” can be found here:.

 

The whole person, not just appearance is what needs to be addressed when you consider personal improvement. 

 

Are you on match.com or some other dating site?  Don’t stop with just working on your appearance. Work on what’s inside, too.  What personality traits, habits, relationship skills, and emotional intelligence improvements should you consider improving? 

 

What’s frustrating is that the process of personal improvement never ends.  No one ever reaches perfection.

 

It’s the act of pursuing perfection that is actual perfection.  Please go here now and see if Positive Reflections on Personal Improvement could help you.

 

Self Improvement

 

How To Become The Very Best

 

How can you become a better mother, father, husband or wife?

 

How you can you earn more money?

 

How could you be a better friend?

 

How could you do better the activities you enjoy doing?

 

Whatever role you play in life – for real or for fun – how could you do it better?

 

I have the answer right here:

 

Become A Better Person.

 

That’s what Tiger Woods told the Mike and Mike in the Morning show on ESPN 2 several years ago when he was asked how he might be able to become a better golfer.  “I need to become a better person.”

 

So, while there are lots of writings and other insights into what you could do to become a better person, and while there are some obvious answers known by everybody, we are releasing a book that takes a little different approach to answer the question.

 

 

 

 

 Our book is “Positive Reflections on Self Improvement.”

 

 

It is filled with questionnaires on success, self-esteem, and specific life areas assessments.  

 

 

The most important part of the book is, where personally could you improve?  And even more importantly, where would you like to begin?

 

 

It’s actually a workbook. - and a perfect asset to looking at your new year’s resolutions. 

 

 

It is very expensive and worth more than the asking price.  It will be on sale when we first release it, so I hope you hurry and get your copy.

 

The single most powerful question in the world may be this: what do you want?  PR on SI will help you make certain, personal decisions. 

 

Becoming a better person is where it actually all begins.

 

Do you want to become a better person?  If you begin the process of becoming a better person, you will automatically become better at every thing else you do and in every role you fill.

 


 

Couples Want Peace, Joy, Security, Love 

 

Instead, they suffer from conflict, rejection, worry, fear, aloneness.

 

Referrals for couples counseling are high.  People are hurting.  And our program, Best Marriage Ever is the answer to these problems.

 

Are you happily married?  Do you two have passion?  Are you communicating like best friends?  Can you resolve conflicts so you both win?

 

There is no greater security and peace than knowing no matter what comes your way, the 2 of you will get through it. 

 

Here, answer these questions:

 

1.  Do you share deep personal information about yourself with your spouse/partner?

 

2.  Do you find yourself thinking about your spouse/partner during the day?

 

3.  Because of your commitment to your spouse/partner, would you let others come between you?

 

4.  Do you receive considerable emotional support from your spouse/partner?

 

5.  Is your relationship romantic?

 

6.  Do you expect the love from your spouse/partner to last for the rest of your life?

 

7.  Do you 2 communicate well?  No secrets?

 

8.  Could you imagine another person making you as happy as your spouse/partner does?

 

9.  Will you always feel a strong responsibility for your spouse/partner?

 

10. Can you really trust your spouse/partner?

 

What are your answers?  

 

Please do not hesitate to contact us.

 

Couples can have the greatest of relationships or the worst. 

 

 

 

If you are not growing closer to each other each day, why not?

 

Being married to your best friend – that is ultimate peace, joy, security, and love. 

 

Please let us help if you are not the happiest person in the world.

 

 

 

My Wife Is Seriously Ill

My Wife is Seriously Ill

And it sucks!

I wish I could write how bad it sucks. Watching her suffer and struggle is the worst nightmare!

My pretty little wife has trouble walking. Sometimes she uses a walker. She is chronically, utterly exhausted. She is a 5th grade teacher, but can only work half days for now. When I hold her hand, she can’t feel it.

Who will do the grocery shopping, the laundry, and all the mom things, now? What about her students? Who will help get her walker out of the car? Who will make sure she is stress-less and comfortable?!!!!! Who can answer those unending, no-answer questions like, “why?”

She was very ill in June. The doctor told her to take more Vitamin D. She continued to get worse until she was ultimately admitted to the hospital for 5 days. She’d lost the feeling on one side of her body and some ability to walk. She was given her diagnosis.

I remember one night in the hospital, at change of shift, all the nurses were in her room. They were talking with Janelle about how sorry they were about her diagnosis. Janelle explained that she has been through other health issues and made it. Nothing had ever stopped her from what she wanted to do and this will not keep her down either. She literally brought me to tears with her courage and determination. One male nurse came over to me, patted my shoulder and asked if I was ok. “She’s simply an awesome person,” I tearfully, proudly exclaimed.

Janelle always smiles. (And it’s the prettiest smile in the world.) And I mean always – except when one of her kids is troubled. People are amazed at her ability to smile, even with her illness, and comment about it frequently.

We had just built the coolest “she-shed” (as Janelle calls it) and put her hot tub in it. She loves to sit in hot baths and read her kindle. Because of her illness, she can’t get hot. So much for the “patio room”, at least for Janelle. Just one of the many things this illness will take from her.

Now our prayers are for healing, energy, and mercy.

And my private prayer is to have courage like Janelle. She’s not just my Pretty Little Wife. She is awesome, a fighter, a survivor, the epitome of courage. My hero.

Here’s why I write this: I need to be more like Janelle. And I want you to be, too. More courageous. To never, ever give up. To inspire people to find a way to go on to great things.

She’s a great woman. I hope to match up to her greatness one day. And I hope that some day, we all can!

 

 

Kids, Parents, Peace

 

Do your kids

 

talk back to you

 

  • ignore you
  • hit or kick you
  • disobey you
  • refuse to follow the rules
  • get poor grades
  • refuse to do what you tell them to

 

Do you feel helpless, powerless, and even out of control?

Do you find yourself avoiding your kids, warning them repeatedly, giving in to them even when you know you shouldn’t?

Does it seem that the kids are running the show?

If you answered yes, you are not alone.

Let us help! Call or text 719-647-9930 for the “How Can I Ever Be Happy Again” 30 minute session. It’s free.

Here are 3 suggestions:

1. start with trying to discover why your child is like this. Go here to get a free download of possible reasons (or paste this in your browser: http://bit.ly/1yuvzWv).

2. think about this premise: you should get what you want before your child gets what he/she wants (after, of course, basic needs are met). If your child wants to play video games, allow this after his room is cleaned.

3. call or text us now. The free “How Can I Ever Be Happy Again” will help you 1) identify some reasons for the negative behaviors, 2) discover at least one strategy to fix the problem, and 3) leave this session knowing more confidently that you can actually be happy. Soon. Very soon.

Kids everywhere are treating their parents with disrespect and as a matter of fact, they also disrespect
their teachers, authority figures and anyone who is making rules and telling
them what to do.

Why not get your kids to be respectful, kind, polite, responsible? Why not fill your home with peace and real love. Stop the conflicts. Stop the angry and passive/aggressive behaviors. Stop the isolation and constant complaining.

Call or text now. 719-647-9930