And it sucks!
I wish I could write how bad it sucks. Watching her suffer and struggle is the worst nightmare!
My pretty little wife has trouble walking. Sometimes she uses a walker. She is chronically, utterly exhausted. She is a 5th grade teacher, but can only work half days for now. When I hold her hand, she can’t feel it.
Who will do the grocery shopping, the laundry, and all the mom things, now? What about her students? Who will help get her walker out of the car? Who will make sure she is stress-less and comfortable?!!!!! Who can answer those unending, no-answer questions like, “why?”
She was very ill in June. The doctor told her to take more Vitamin D. She continued to get worse until she was ultimately admitted to the hospital for 5 days. She’d lost the feeling on one side of her body and some ability to walk. She was given her diagnosis.
I remember one night in the hospital, at change of shift, all the nurses were in her room. They were talking with Janelle about how sorry they were about her diagnosis. Janelle explained that she has been through other health issues and made it. Nothing had ever stopped her from what she wanted to do and this will not keep her down either. She literally brought me to tears with her courage and determination. One male nurse came over to me, patted my shoulder and asked if I was ok. “She’s simply an awesome person,” I tearfully, proudly exclaimed.
Janelle always smiles. (And it’s the prettiest smile in the world.) And I mean always – except when one of her kids is troubled. People are amazed at her ability to smile, even with her illness, and comment about it frequently.
We had just built the coolest “she-shed” (as Janelle calls it) and put her hot tub in it. She loves to sit in hot baths and read her kindle. Because of her illness, she can’t get hot. So much for the “patio room”, at least for Janelle. Just one of the many things this illness will take from her.
Now our prayers are for healing, energy, and mercy.
And my private prayer is to have courage like Janelle. She’s not just my Pretty Little Wife. She is awesome, a fighter, a survivor, the epitome of courage. My hero.
Here’s why I write this: I need to be more like Janelle. And I want you to be, too. More courageous. To never, ever give up. To inspire people to find a way to go on to great things.
She’s a great woman. I hope to match up to her greatness one day. And I hope that some day, we all can!